Sometimes I feel like Aunt Agony, but I am not complaining.

This is a touchy subject that I never want to blog about but I’ve decided to come out and share with you guys today. As quite a number of you may know, I ended a relationship of almost 7 years slightly more than a year back. He used to be my world and when our relationship ended, I thought my world has ended. I was scared because my only constant wasn’t there anymore. It wasn’t easy but I survived.

One year plus isn’t long, but it isn’t that short as well and time just flew by like that. It is a relationship that I will hold dear to me but I have completely moved on from it and what surprises me is that people are still asking me questions about it and generally on BGR on my Ask.fm still.

There are questions like e.g if I am okay, what happened, how I get over it, who am I dating etc. to questions like e.g how to confess to a boy, what to do if there aren’t any more sparks in the relationship etc. I admit that I was quite surprised and confused that people actually want my advices… Initially I ignored all questions because I just wasn’t ready to face all of that but I figured that there are many out there going through the same thing, some may even had it worse, and ultimately, we all just want to have somebody to talk to, to be told that things will be fine at the end of the day.  So if you’re through a heartbreak or something similar, I hope this post helps you:

1. Eat. I know there are many people who lost weight during their breakup and it happened to me as well but as time goes by, i found so much joy in eating. It was almost the only joy in life then and i wasn’t going to give that up as well. I was always ready to meet my friends for lunch or dinner and their company always make my day so much better.

2. Work out. Sometimes, eating too much can lead to weight gain and that is the last thing you want to worry during this period. It is hard to drag yourself out of bed and stay motivated especially when you are still feeling lousy but trust me, sweating it out will make you feel SO good and I swear by it. It also makes eating less sinful and more enjoyable! I am not a fan of running but thankfully i found a couple of classes that I really like at my gym. You guys need to try out Body Combat and Hot Yoga classes!

3. Talk to people. It is hard to talk about sad things. Hell, it was even hard for me to talk about it to my closest girlfriend who I can count on to no matter what but honestly, just communicate. Which is what I understood and thus decided to reply the questions and share my opinions on my Ask.fm! It not only helps you girls (I hope they did), but it also helped me very much.

4. Dress up. Dress like you are on a date. Dress like you are going to meet your favourite celebrity. Dress like you are going to meet that cute guy down your block! No honestly, dressing and dolling up can make your mood so much better and gives you a boost of confidence! And while your outfit is all on-point, why not snap an OOTD and post it on Instagram? :D

5. No stalking allowed. Seriously, do not. I know you will be so tempted to stalk your ex on Instagram or Facebook and you will think that it will not do any harm but trust me, it will. Keeping up to date to what your ex is doing, who is he dating or realising that you guys aren’t even friends on social media anymore will only put you in a much darker place. You are on your way to recovery, so why put yourself in agony again? Just leave him alone. And that brings my next point.

6. Focus on yourself. Stop looking back and constantly remind yourself again why you are awesome and that you only deserve the best. When I broke up with my ex, I was feeling shitty all day. I wondered if I can ever find someone who is as great, who loves me even more, who sees me as who I am, understands, appreciates and supports me. But I had little hope and major trust issues and I felt that I was the one with the problem. But no, I am great. And whoever is reading this now and going through a tough time, my friend, YOU are amazing. Make it a habit to write it in your journal the things you do that put a smile on your face and others every day and read them out loud after every week or month, or half a year later. It is definitely going to make you feel so much better.

7. Surround yourself with people who matter. Your friends and family will always be the ones who will keep you in check. I only have a very small handful of friends that I know I can count on and to me, that’s enough. They make me happy and gave me a reason to hang out when i least wanted to back then. When I needed to cry, my friends and family are there for me and will never judge.

8. Do not drunk text him. Or drunk dial. You might think it’s okay to do when you are intoxicated but the shame you have to handle the next morning… Is it worth it? Not only that, you will only make yourself look like a fool who is overly needy – definitely not the way you want him to think of you. What you should do is to, as mentioned above, pull yourself together and show him that you are capable of being all by yourself, or with your friends and you do not need him to define you at all!

9. Do not rebound. Meeting new people is good and fun! But getting into a relationship too quickly right after your break up is not. Get to know the person you are talking to better before settling and be open about things. The last thing you want is to carry your past relationship’s baggage into your new one, and realising that your new guy just isn’t the one for you.

10. And last by not least, stay busy! It helped me to stay away from sadness and be more focus. Do not skip work. Pick up a new hobby. Take better care of your pet. Travel the world. Whatever you wanted to do before, go for it! Afterall, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.


I hope these will help to make you feel better, and get back on track again! It did for me – I am happy right now, with lesser trust issues and more laughters each day and so will you. If this helps you to open your heart up, share it and help others too! If you have any more tips to share, feel free to comment and help each other out! You can reach me at the comment box, on my Ask.fm, else I am just an email away!


  • Vicki Bradley

    If you are having trouble going to sleep because of punishing, pain-producing thoughts, try this: Keep a journal by your bed, write down your anxieties and imagine them flowing out of you and onto the paper.